"help me to carry the fire, we can keep it alive together"

things look a little blurred as i walk down the sidewalk. crisp chill air slides past my cheeks and tears and keeps moving past me. he drives past, and raises his hand to be in the shape of "i love you". i instantly mirror his gesture and watch as that little white car turns the corner and off out of sight.

he is gone.

but only physically.

i look off into the distance and realize that this was the greatest year i have known. i have felt the greatest love, pain, discoveries, and intimacies. i fell in love for the first time, and i will never let that go. that is a part of me, my soul, that will stay with me forever. he is now a permanent part of my soul. and i'm so glad.

i look around me as i drive up the road. mist on the mountain, and deep green plants poking their heads out of the damp earth. this is the beginning. the start of new life and joy. this is time for me to further find myself and what i'm capable of. i know that i can do it, and i realized it with a little help from him.

he is still my best friend forever, no matter the miles that separate us, and always will be.