why is it that i feel like i have a social problem? don't get me wrong, i'm not emo, but i have always felt like i don't fit in just right. like a piece of the puzzle that was made slightly misshapen, and won't go in perfectly.
yes i had friends in high school, yes i was winterball queen, and yes i was seminary council president. i knew a lot people and talked to a lot of people. but within all of that company, i felt like no one really clicked with me. public solitude. alone in a crowd.
the only constant best friend i've had has been my brother. everyone else has either been a year ahead of me or a year behind me. i become attached and create strong bonds. then that time comes, when they graduate, move, or i graduate and move. and then after i become attached to people again, they leave. i don't feel like i connect with people in my year. and even if i do, they create their own groups and don't really let me in. it's like elementary all over again. i find the few gems that understand me completely, like james, but life happens and they leave. for good.
no one will come back to rock springs to stay. like pocahontas and john smith. pocahontas stays with her family, and even thought their love is strong, john smith leaves for england.
a free, adventurous spirit comes with a heavy price.
We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. -- Lynn Hall
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