"Silk sheet, blue dawn, Colgate, tongue warm. Won’t you quit your crying? I can’t sleep"

I'm vulnerable, I'm vulnerable
I am not a robot
You're loveable, so loveable
But you're just troubled
It's ok to say you've got a weak spot
You don't always have to be on top.

Guess what? I'm not a robot.

I AM NOT A ROBOT.

"I have whispered in the wind, and tried to force it all to fit into a lifeless silhouette."

my stomach has decided to decay at the raw age of 19.

either that or it's trying to tell me something.

can your body parts be wiser than you and try to help by going crazy?

i need a stomach whisperer right now.

"i've always felt so scared of all this needing"

I’ve always felt so scared of all this needing
Everyone that I’ve met has been somewhat mistreated
That’s how it feels when you know that something’s wrong.

Then you came along like a swan off of the lake
You flew across my eyes and out into space,
And I ran and I crawled and I chased to get out fast.

That’s what I did…

And if all else fails then the ship won’t set sail.
God forbid but I guess the both of us will bail
But as far as I can tell I think things will be swell.

Have you seen me cry tears like diamonds
Down and down they fly, faster and faster like the speed of our love
Batting a thousand, but a homerun crack at love
This is where I tell you that, I know love's what I need to work at

So now the two of us rely on each other
With our premonitions out in the gutter
Who would have thought that I’d make it this far

I’ll make it seem like I’m stronger but I’m quite the actor
And now I’m so caught up and I can’t escape this pattern
But when I started losing hope, there you were, there you bloomed


my mind is a thrift store. random, useless, sporadic, pathetic, paranoid, broken, un-opened, nostalgic, shiny, thoughts.

bury them.

"and i would walk 500 miles, and i would walk 500 more, just to be the man to walk 1000 miles to fall down at your door."

to miss someone. one of the most deeply rooted feelings in your heart, besides love.

it's a longing. a yearning. a need for a touch, a sound, an image, a comfort.

sometimes it's a happy miss, and you feel you can last while this certain person is away.

sometimes it's a miserable miss, and you don't feel like moving from your bed because you just want them back in your arms.

absence makes the heart grow stronger, but the only way for it to grow stronger, is for the heart to go through rigorous training. and that leaves it sore.

my heart is really sore right now.

"I never knew a home, until I found your hands. When I'm weathered, you come to me... you're my best friend."

love. it's such a heavy word. it's such a heavy feeling. but when you get a taste, glimpse, spark of it, you realize why, and wouldn't trade it for the world.

two people. being themselves. caring more about the other than their own self. finding the little quirks and things about their significant other that they are magnetically attracted to. simple, little things in life.

looking. listening. loving. living.

i love him.

"I’m a satellite heart, lost in the dark. I’m spun out so far, you stop, I start, but I’ll be true to you."

one of the worst feelings, as far as i can tell, is the feeling of nostalgia.

i hate it. i want it to go away. it tugs at the edge of my stomach with an annoying nagging presence. for some reason this haunting spirit named Nostalgia doesn't want to leave me alone.

go away, Nostalgia, you are not wanted here.

"hey lloyd, i'm ready to be heart broken. cause i can't see farther than my own nose at this moment..."

sun is a huge golden dollar, but weeping willow still sways, even though the sun is giving her his sweet rays.

"what do i have to do" asks sun, "to gain your love, tell me true."

willow is a short lush smile, but moon still hides away, even though willow still sings him lovely praise.

"what do i have to do" asks willow, "to gain your love, tell me true."

as the thick, soft flakes soared past my window, i thought nothing but lethargic thoughts. why does this time of year always spark the horrible memory lane trips? it seems like every september/october i get horribly caught up in the past, and can't escape. the wet, the cold, the clouds, the air, the very small biting at the edge of your fingertips reflects memories. always, constantly tugging at the edges of my mind, and heart.

i'm pleased it is winter. i'm not looking forward to wind and ice, but i love the overcast, wintery feel. i am going to wear my fall/winter clothes, listen to zoe keating, and sit amidst the comfort of nature.

peace, love, and tofu.
--sierra.